Signs
2:30 AM here in Oz. See? Three weeks on the other side of the world, and I'm already falling back into old and familiar sleeping patterns. Ced'n'Avril are probably lying in bed wondering why they invited a crazy sleepwalking beadmaker to come and stay at their home, but they'll get it tomorrow morning (sorry guys - I tried my hardest to be soundless, I swear).
On our second night together, we sat out on the balcony of my ridiculous Redcliffe apartment, watching the moon and the clouds and the water. It was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. Dark clouds were floating over the round, full moon, causing the moonlight to break up into separate beams, reflecting on the Pacific Ocean like giant spotlights, gliding slowly and constantly changing around.
"You just can't take a picture of this", I felt the need to explain, even though he didn't even know me well enough yet to ask why I wasn't running off to get my camera. "To see this, you just have to be right here, right now."
Next thing I said, after a few moments of silence, was "Oooh, this is so romantic, I think I'm gonna puke." I have said that at least ten times since then. (I haven't actually puked yet.)
Our last night in Sydney ended with a Virgin Blue flight attendant asking us (on loudspeaker, mind you) to behave.
Every moment in between has been packed with "romance" of the sickeningly-sweet practically-unreal kind, and "signs". Reoccurring numbers, names, likes, dislikes - you know the "signs"? The silly little signs are everywhere. He calls it "the energy". He's a hippie at heart.
I don't believe in the signs. I used to. I used to love, cherish and worship the signs. If there was a sign, or anything that could somehow be interpreted as a sign, it just had to mean something. Something good. An illusion of something good. Since then, the signs have popped up so many times, only to later explode my face, that I just can't allow myself to believe in them anymore. Call it cynicism. Call it realism. Call it self-defense. The signs flash past my eyes and I allow them to escape, not wanting to over-analyze or lend too much importance to what will most likely become just meaningless little bits of silliness.
The fact that I'm even writing about this in my blog should tell you something. A few days ago, I asked him if me writing about him here is weird for him, or if it freaks him out or anything (which would, I guess, be completely understandable).
He just shrugged. "No, not really", he said. "It's what you do. It's you. I get that. I would never want you to stop being you."
Sometimes the signs keep screaming and screaming at you, till you just can't ignore them anymore. Is this a "meant to be"?
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CONTEST OF THE MONTH:
Girl meets boy. Girl likes boy.
Girl lives in Middle East. Girl has cat. Girl will never willingly be separated from cat. Girl will never put cat through two days of travel or three months of quarantine.
Boy lives in Australia. Boy has child who also happens to live in Australia. Boy must go on living in Australia.
Give me a nice and easy solution to this one, and I will send you every fucking bead I have. Shipping's on me.
Oh Sarah, I feel for you. I don't really think that there is an easy solution. He can't leave Australia so either you move or have a long distance relationship. (I'm sure you've already thought of both.) Maybe your cat would love Australia. Where does your cat go when you aren't home?
You have to follow your heart (and your gut.) You'll always regret "what could've been". You can't be afraid to love again. We are all meant to be loved and to love.
I love reading your blog and seeing your beads. I've been married 18 years and I can live vicariously through you.
Do keep us posted on the outcome.
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Hmm, EVERY bead you say? Girl will never WILLINGLY be separated from cat you say? Ok, I'll kidnap Moby and own all your beads, you'll have no ties to Tel Aviv and will live happily ever after in Oz. Sound like a deal??
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follow your heart, the cat will understand...
these signs happen so infrequently that when it happens to YOU, you have to throw yourself at the opportunity COMPLETELY...
there is no other way to love anyone... just completely.... and you already know this.....
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Hello Sarah:
It is always wonderful to see two people in love, I wish both of you the best. As far as how to be together, I kown you love your cat, but come on the cat or the child. The think the cat well be just fine and will adjust in the move, should you decide to make the move. Their should be no question as to the child needing its father in the same country as he or she grows up.
If this is true love and you really want to make the move, as you seemed to want to move in your past blogs, then do what you need to do with your beloved cat and take the step. The cat will be fine I am willing to bet.
Good luck to you and yours with whatever decision you make. I'll be watching. Charlotte
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Hey Sarah-
I'll make this easy...since you won't willingly be separated from your cat--by the power of being married to the same woman for over thirty four years, I order you to find a surrogate Sarah for the cat, and begin a new adventure in Australia...wwhhhhheeeeee!
(and you can keep all yer beads to boot)
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No solution here, but I think you'll find it Sarah ... you look great together. Bestest possible wishes xx
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When I finished reading this I laughed out loud and then I cried. (Sorry if I woke you.)
I'd give you every fucking bead I own to stop your heart from breaking when you hop onto that plane on Monday...
Argh, this is breaking MY heart! I'll see you later on. Good luck at the shops today. -A
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As I've told my son, when you know it's right, that's the one and you will do what needs to be done to be with that "one". Relationships do take work, but it doesn't feel like "work" when it's the right person.
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Something so beautiful should be given every chance to grow. You have found a once in a lifetimes love that refuses to be ignored. So take it and run with all that it brings you and wherever it may take you. I cried when I read your blog because I know that you don't write unless it is truly close to you heart. And people don't usually get a mention unless their super special and for some reason I always thought Moby was a person until you posted a picture of him!!! Russ, your a diamond, worth traveling a million miles for!
So here goes...
Option 1; Give Moby to your very best friend to cherish and love as her own. He will be well loved for and everyday that they think of you in Australia, they can give him an enormous hug.
Option 2; Complexities of moving to Australia are just going to take time...boring but true, it will take at least three months to pack up your life. So investigate if you can put him in quarantine in Israel, then all he has to do survive the flight and you can take him home straight way! May not even be as long as three months anyway-I though it was usually 6 weeks.
Option 3; Ok this is going to drive someone mad by suggesting it. If I send you my hothead torch and russel up a few tools, glass etc, why don't you set up your studio in Brisbane and stay longer. A lot longer, well as long as your visa can allow you. Even if you can get it extended. That way you can merge your lives and grow. When heady love settles down to something long lasting and even better still then it is now, you will feel a lot more able to face the million and one things to sort out.
I hope this helps you Sarah and hasn't confused things further. He is the one, Sarah and like Avril, it breaks my heart too! And I too would give you every bead I have ever made...
Jenny from Sydney
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As a person who has moved to Australia for love, I feel that I have *some* experience with this situation...
It took me nearly a year after first meeting him to pack up my stuff (child and all) and move here.
The thing that made the move completely necessary, was 9/11. We both sat in our beds in different countries watching the towers come down, on the phone to each other, and both knew we couldn't be apart any more. Weird huh?
So, go home, and start working out the details... what happened for me, was the the move was *so right* that the details pretty much worked themselves out, with hardly any effort from me...
We have been together since Jan, 2001. My son and I got on a plane in Jan 2002, and we've been living together since. We brought our own house over 5yrs ago. Online stuff can work. I promise.
D
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You deserve all the love in the world. I whish I had an easy answer for you. The most importent thing is to follow your heart and gut feeling. For every problem there is an answer in the right time.
Love and hugs,
Miriam
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Oy veh
Listen Sarah - I have some appointments available in my schedule if you and friend need some 'counselling'.
Seriously - everything can be overcome.
LOVE CONQUERS ALL
I feel like travelling to OZ if falling in love is that easy...
Though I'm sure Avril would help me out,
if not Sharon
Anyways have a safe flight back,
and what is a Virgin Loo?
Is it unisex for all virgins?
I'll be in Eretz in 10 days
call me if you wanna have a free analytic session on the beach with a beer
Lehit
Esther
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The only solution is you have to move to Australia! (Us Aussies would be happy anyway)
Don't think about it too much Sarah. Let it happen. And start believing in signs again. You know what they say - life's what happens when you're busy making other plans.
S x
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Hi Sarah
Does the cat make you feel like Russ does?
Did you feel the same sense of loss when you left your cat at home to come to Australia as you do now that your leaving Russ in Australia to go home to your cat?
How has life been for the last few weeks? Sounds like it's been pretty good!
The cat will adapt to the flight and the quarantine - if he has to.
Looks pretty simple from where I'm sitting dear Sarah............follow whoever has the biggest piece of your heart.
Cheers
Sandy
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Oh I forgot to add - AND he's obsessed about glass as you are - what more do you want!!!!!!!!! A match made in heaven!!
Sandy
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The cat is an excuse.
You're just scared to move to Australia.
Try to figure out why.
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Sarah, first of all I could never part with my babies, furry or human! i have been entrusted to them for life. I understand how you feel. It is not fair to say "well, now someone else has come along so it is really incovenient for me to have Moby anymore"! You are a good mommy! It's not just giving up Moby, there are real questions to ask of yourself! Are you able to give up your way of life as you know it? Do you want to live with someone or get married? I mean REALLY give it up, not just thinking it right now. if the answer is yes then you have to let a few weeks go by and let things settle for a while. And if the answer is no, you still have to let things simmer down. If he is the one, time will tell! You do not have to make a decision right now, that is scary as hell! What is he saying? His answer might tell you more about him! I think you need to get on the plane, take a valium, go home and see Moby, and start making beads because when the dust settles out of that routine you will have your answer!
steph
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You mentioned almost in passing that he has a child -- but that's quite an important piece of information. Does he have full or partial custody of the kid? If so, moving and becoming an instant step-mother is a even bigger step than just moving for love.
Have you met the child? Are you willing to have the child's needs take precedence over yours? Because for a parent that will always be the case.
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Sarah, believe it or not 2 days of travel will not be that bad for mr. kittykins. In any case, you don't have to move right this instant. Email and phone can keep you connected while you make the decision that is right for you and Mr. Kitty. Now gimmie all your beads.
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How exciting, although, officially you no longer qualifty to be strawberry Lauscha!!!!
I have no answer to your dilemma, all i can say is just go for it, how you interperate that is up to you.x x x
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Look what I would do in that situation.
I will think,think, think...Then say long sweet good bay to everything and every one I attached to. Then take the cat and may be the marbles table and move to Australia.
The condition is mad love from both sides, of course.
I don't believe in checking fillings been appart. I believe you can do it only when living together.
Love you,
Rimma
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When it's right it's right.... I met my hubby at scuba diving classes and took our open waters 7/4/08 got married 9/20/08 virtually no dates.... lots of talking...
Guess it was right .... 2009 will be 29 years... Love is wonderful... furfill all those thoughts... keep on track and you will have at least as many years as we have shared together...
Yes, kitty's are family and you have to decide what you want to do... wishing you the best in whatever you decide... lovvies....
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Have you looked at some other options for getting Moby over there, such as if you enter Australia through a different country, would that make a difference in the quarantine rules? Or do that have that regulation no matter where you're coming from? Are there options for where he'd be quarantined, such as a kennel close by where you'd live so you could see him every day? I totally understand about not leaving him behind, but if it were me, I'd try to explore every single angle on the quarantine thing. As far as traveling with him, you can have him with you at your seat in a little crate, right? I can tell you, having traveled with my dogs many times, they recover quicker than you think. I hope this works out for you.
Julie
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I'm sure Moby wouldn't mind moving. I know I wouldn't mind moving somewhere that cockatoos fly around wild.
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Sarah, the cat will survive a few weeks in quarantine! Our family cat moved with us all over the world and then I mean from Europe to Africa, Asia, Europe, Middle East.. Untill she died at 18.5 years old. The cat will be okay! REALLY! Just take him with you. Or take over my cat here, and I'll take your cat in Tell Aviv and bring it with me to Holland..
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Sarah, i have no idea when you have returned home but we have not heard from you on your blog and well, just checking in to see that you are ok! I hope that your tears have produced a result in this circumstance! I have read everyone's answers and quite frankly you have a lot of people that care about you. That is the wonderful thing about the human condition, people want to see other people happy and help them to achieve happiness while they are eagerly awaiting an inbox message that says "I am happy world"!! lol! I cannot wait to hear what you have been thinking and contemplating because those actions WILL produce results!! thinking of you!
steph
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Hi Sarah!....we met very briefly at the Friday night dinner at the Italian restaurant in Redcliffe - remember the winged "god" in the silver frame??....and the silver haired older man constantly looking after me???.....anyway, we have family living in Be'er Sheva who might be able to look after your furbaby for you if you want to come back here to Aussieland and just see if this relationship is what you (and we) hope it will be.....if you're interested, just pass on a message through Avril...
Have fun!
Di.
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Oh Sarah, I don't know you(altough I think I do, because I read your blog) and You do'nt know me at all.
I read your story and my heart is breaking a little for you. I'm afraid there is no easy solution to this, or you would've already found it. But I'm also sure that both of you will concer all the difficulties in the end. Your fur baby WILL understand what has to be done to make you happy, because you are connected. I believe that your cat knows/feels what you feel. That can either be travveling around the world or staying with a loving friend.
What I want to say, is please follow your heart, you will regret it if you don't.
Please go for it!!
Al the strength,
Martine (who was supposed to move half over Europe for love, but it was too late already)
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Hey come on Sarah - the romantic answer is to follow your heart - the obvious answer is you both move to Murano!
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Congratulations Sarah. But in all actuality there should be no contest. When love is real there are no questions. You just find a way. A happy pet owner equals a happy pet. You will find a way to make it work. Good luck.
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This may be double posted cause I don't know if I submitted this right but I just wanted to say congratulations and when it comes to true love there should be no contest. Love finds a way. Also a happy pet owner equals a happy pet. You will figure out a way for all to be together and happy. Good luck!
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Swear God I started to cry when I read this entry.
That is so amazing you can make beads in any country in the world. So you can easily move and that will not affect your career.
Just try to imagine how would your beads look like when you make them in that mood. When you feel lost and apart. You should really go! I know you will do something. Your cat will understand, and will like living in Australia. That's not cold Siberia! That's not Alaska - that is warm sweet Australia.. A couple of weeks ago I was crying when I saw the landscapes of New Zealand. Green green grass, deep blue ocean.. I took my cat and showed her the photos, and I asked her to live long life and someday we will move to the prettiest place on the Earth, and she will live an amazing life there
At least you can come to Australia with your cat on a boat
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