I just got back from England yesterday morning. Today, I go to the bank to deposit £695 in cash. I get there at 6pm. The bank is open till 6:30 on Wednesdays.

She smiles an idiotic smile. "But I really need to get home."

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I'm preparing for Art in Action, working my ass off, totally stressing myself out and not having much time to breathe, let alone blog. So I'll tell you about that some other time.

But, in the midst of it all, I have some new beads to show you. I've been playing around with Double Helix 'Clio' this week, with some great results so far (and some not so great, but I'm not going to show you those). This collection of focals is now on eBay. Enjoy!

See you soon...

I've got a new class on the menu! I've been planning a class about color in my head for a while, and I'm happy to finally get it out on the road.

Glass and Color is a two-day class, and I'll be teaching it for the first time at Diana East's Studio in Leicester next month. The dates are July 20-21. Please contact Diana for more info and registration. I hope to see you there!

(A couple of other possible locations are in the works for later in the year... stay tuned.)

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It's strange how two rock concerts - one that happened, and one that didn't - can have such a profound effect on you. I feel like I'm seeing myself and the world a bit differently. It's hard to put a finger on what it is. It's just there.

On one hand, it feels kind of silly. It's not like rock concerts matter that much in the grand scheme of things.

But then again, neither do beads, really.

On the other hand, art is important. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't important. I'm feeling inspired, and it's good to feel inspired, for whatever reason.

Anyway. Enough meaningless babble for today.

I can't remember if it was in Australia or in New Zealand, but at some point I was telling a couple of students about how my mood can affect my style and color choices, and I said something along the lines of "if I'm making organics, it means that I'm bored".

I don't know why I said that. It was a dumb thing to say.

Sure, sometimes when I'm feeling bored and uninspired I'll just sit at the torch swirling random stuff together and hoping for the best. It's hard to go wrong with organics. But sometimes my organics come from a different place. I hadn't been much into organics in a long time - before I left for Australia I was even saying things like "I've come to the conclusion that organics are just not me and I don't think I want to make them anymore".

These past few days I've been working on a series that I'm calling 'Short Stories', and I've been anything but bored. I'm quite proud of them, actually. I feel that each one is very expressive in its own right - I hope you can see that - and I'm kind of attached to them all.

These beads are up on eBay at the moment. This isn't the whole series - you can see more on Facebook or Flickr. I'll be posting more during the week.

Start A Fire	Breathe Underwater
Memory	Affair of the Heart
Jump Into Forever	Sound of Silence
Another Dawn	New Tomorrow
Never-Ending Why

I'm having a long weekend sale on Etsy: BUY TWO, GET ONE FREE!

This sale is from now till Sunday, June 13 2010, at midnight (Israel time)! Don't miss your chance to stock up.

• I'm honored to be the featured artist on Roly's blog this week. Read the interview here. 

• So, yesterday's post was completely ineffective. I guess I'm not as persuasive as I thought I was. Blah.

• On the off chance that anyone cares... I've got eBay auctions ending in a few hours.

• I think I've asked this before, but it was a while ago. Does anyone who reads my blog happen to be a secret millionaire who finds me charming and is waiting for the right moment to give me lots of money? 'Cause seriously, now would be the time.

• I'm not sure if the huge-post-about-Australia-and-New-Zealand thing is going to happen. I feel really guilty about that, but things are just too depressing at the moment. I had such a great time, saw beautiful places and met some amazing people. It was great. It feels like it was a million years ago. Well, considering the time it took me to fly home, it almost was a million years ago. Anyway, here are some photos if anyone's interested.

• Am I being boycotted because I'm from Israel? Just wondering.

• I miss New Zealand.

• On the bright side, a class in the UK is coming up. More info coming soon.

• Oh, and I'm back to updating my Twitter.

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Thank you so much for the awesome concert last night. Thank you for not giving in to political pressure and for playing music for music's sake, and for the sake of your fans. Thanks for understanding how much it would mean to us. Thank you for getting up on stage and giving a performance I'm sure many will remember for the rest of their lives. You don't know me, but I was there in the audience, so excited to finally see you live, almost like a mindless groupie. I was stuck standing behind a guy who must be the tallest Placebo fan on the face of the planet and I'm not a very jumpy person, so you probably didn't see me. But I was so happy to be there. I really wanted you to know that.

You see, I've been a fan of your music for so long. I started listening when I was in high school and loved it. Then, for a while, I was telling myself that I needed to "outgrow" the music I used to like in high school, so I took a long break. But a few years ago, when I started making glass beads for a living, I also came to some sort of weird realization that I should just listen to whatever I wanted to listen to and not care what anyone I know, or used to know, might think, so I started listening to Placebo again. I always have my iPod on while I'm working at the torch. I'd say that about 50% of all my beads were made while I was listening to Placebo. I can't put my finger on why; it's just the music that speaks to me most, whether I'm feeling happy or sad, inspired or creatively blocked. (So, NOW do I sound like a mindless groupie?)

I have been lucky to travel to a bunch of different countries around the world over the past few years. Whenever I'm going anywhere, I always check the gig schedule on your website to see if maybe I could catch you in concert somewhere. We've never been in the same place at the same time. So, you can imagine my excitement when I learned you were finally going to give a concert right here in Tel Aviv. And you did not disappoint. It was the kind of concert that fills you with energy and inspires you to do something, something big, even if you're not sure what that something is yet. The only thing disappointing about yesterday's concert was that it had to end. When are you coming back? I want to go to another one. Do you have any plans for this Wednesday?

After the concert, for a few moments I was naive enough to think I could find a taxi home. That wasn't really happening, so I waited for the bus, but a few of those went by and there was no room on them because of all the other fans. So I thought maybe I'd walk, but it's really a bit too far to walk, so I waited for a taxi again... in short, it took me a long time to get home. I didn't mind; I had a lot to think about. One of my main thoughts was that it's too bad that The Pixies' concert was going to be in just a few days - I was sure their concert was going to be great, but there was really nothing that could top last night, not even The Pixies. I guess I'm just too emotionally invested in Placebo. Alternative rock is like that; it's emotional. It's personal. It gets deep inside you. Which brings us to my second letter.

But first, let me thank you again. Please come back soon. Okay?

Love,

Sarah the Mindless Groupie

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First of all, let me start by apologizing for the Israeli Facebook population. I've been following your fan page all day long, and feeling ashamed and horrified at all the stupid things people are saying. If you actually read your Facebook page, you're probably thinking to yourselves, "well, it's a good thing we cancelled our visit to THAT country, who would want to go THERE?" I hope you understand that your loyal fans - the ones who were willing to pay over $100 to see you live, even in such difficult economic times - are just extremely disappointed by your decision. We're not all like that, I swear. Some of us are just normal people who really, really wanted to see The Pixies live. If you wanted to see what an ecstatically happy and incredibly appreciative crowd of Israelis looks like, you should have come to Placebo's gig last night - they were awesome.

You don't know me either, so I'll just tell you a little bit about my love affair with you. You were another one of those bands I started listening to in high school. The first band, really. Okay, not exactly the first, but the first in a new musical journey for me. You see, when I was a teenager I used to hang out with the extreme heavy metal people - I didn't really fit in anywhere else. I liked the people a lot, but I never really liked the extreme heavy metal. It was just noise and it gave me a headache. One day, my boyfriend at the time suggested I try listening to The Pixies; he thought I might like you. I did. I loved you. You were my new thing. I'd buy your CDs whenever I could afford to. Doolittle was the first, soon to be followed by others. I still have them all, even though I don't listen to CDs anymore. I was so happy to find a kind of music I could really relate to, that was even accepted as "cool" by my heavy metal friends.

I've always listened to The Pixies; I don't remember ever stopping. I had no hopes of seeing you in concert at first, because you were broken up at the time, but then you got back together, so I thought maybe someday... 

Back in January, I was browsing around on Facebook when I suddenly saw an ad for your concert in Tel Aviv. I was so excited. I couldn't really afford the ticket, but I bought it two minutes later anyway. These days, I can't say there are many musicians I love with a passion, but if I see one of their names with the words "Gig in Tel Aviv!" next to it, I'm fucking going to be there. Pissing off the bank is a small price to pay; they already hate me anyway, so whatever. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. And I've been looking forward to that gig ever since. I just spent a wonderful month in Australia and New Zealand, dreading the day when that would be over, but knowing that at least I'd get to see The Pixies in concert shortly after I got home.

And then Placebo came - I learned about their concert much later - and it was awesome and I was sad that it was over. But once again, I kept reminding myself that in a few days I'd get to see The Pixies, which would be at least almost as good.

Then, this morning, I read about your decision to call off the concert. I can't say it was a huge surprise or anything - artists cancelling their visits to Israel is quite trendy these days; I don't have to tell you why. (Let me just say that this made Placebo's decision not to let us down even more exciting.) At first, I was really pissed off, sort of feeling the "well, fuck them then" attitude, like everybody else. Now, I'm just sad and frustrated. Living in the country everybody loves to hate really sucks sometimes. I didn't choose this; I don't want to be hated because of where I live. I didn't kill anyone. I don't condone anyone being killed; I'm one of those people who tends to believe there must be some better way of solving things. If cancelling your show was going to save someone's life, I'd say, go for it, of course. If it was going to have some sort of political impact, and you felt the need to have political impact, I'd begrudgingly say, go for it. I wouldn't like it, but I'd understand.

But who is really getting punished here? It's not the Israeli government - they couldn't care less, trust me. I doubt many of its members have any idea who you are, beyond "yet another band that cancelled its show here but we have more important things to worry about". You made the decision to make a political statement by punishing your fans. A bunch of alternative rock enthusiasts, no less. The people who have been listening to your music for 20 years, patiently waiting for you to show up in this country. How could you not care about us? Don't tell me not to take it personally. This IS personal. Listening to your music, or any music, for me, is personal. Like I said earlier, there is something about alternative rock that makes it even more personal. I just wanted you to know how I feel.

If you wanted to make a statement, why couldn't you make it on stage? Trust me, we would have listened. Same way we listened to many others - take Roger Waters, for instance. There are plenty of different ways to make a statement without letting your devoted fans down. You could have chosen a different way and made a real impact.

Some people are going to say, "Don't you have anything more important to worry about than a stupid band's performance? Don't you care about people getting killed, about your country's security, or lack thereof, about politics and wars and politicians and soldiers?" Yeah, I do, I do care on some level. I don't want anyone to get killed. I just want everyone to get along. I have no control over these things. I just wanted to see The Pixies.

Maybe I'll have another chance to see you, someday. It probably won't be close to home, even if things ever get calmer in this area (yeah right) - judging by people's reaction, I don't know if they'd pay for tickets again, or if you'd ever consider coming here again. I don't know if I still want to see you, really. I'm hurt. Personally. I need to think about that for a while. 

Not loving you so much at the moment - but anyway, thank you for your music and for meaning something to me in my life.

Sarah

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